We may have already started the New Year, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to make one (or two) more New Year’s Resolutions. Especially if you have just, or are currently, going through a divorce. This may seem like a difficult time to find optimism, but deciding to embrace one or more of these resolutions can help to make this a great year for year, starting in January.
Model a Healthy Relationship for the Kids
Regardless of how old your children may be, they are still going to be affected by your divorce. It is important that you do your best to model a healthy post-divorce relationship for them. Even if your children vent to you about their other parent, it is never okay for you to talk negatively about your ex-spouse to them. That is still their mother or father, and they still deserve your child’s respect.
Let Go of Divorce as an Identity
Don’t let the term divorcee define who you are as a person. Even if you have not yet moved on with another person, or started a new family, you need to let that identifier go. You are a human being just like every else, not simply a divorced person.
Take Care of Yourself
This is a great resolution to have, especially if you are a parent. Often, especially following a divorce, the parents get so caught up in parenting and keeping the focus on their child that they tend to forget about themselves. Make a conscious effort this year to take yourself off the back burner and do some things just for yourself.
This can be a tough one. Starting a new relationship is always hard after you have been hurt in a previous one – this is even truer when it comes to a new relationship following a divorce. That fear of disappointment is following you around like a bright neon sign in a corner store window. This makes things difficult for your new love interest as well – they are constantly trying to balance the highs of a new romance with the lows of the insecurity and uncertainty that now accompanies you wherever you go. Even though it won’t be the easiest thing to do at first, let yourself love fearlessly once again. Don’t make your new partner deal with the baggage of your past.
Embrace Life Again
Take a walk. Go see a movie. Check out your local Farmer’s Market. Doing these little things will help you to embrace life once again. Remember who you were before you got married and what hobbies or activities you may have given up in favor of being a husband or wife. Try them again! Pick yourself up off of the floor and start living again!
We all get tired of hearing the “New Year, New Me” rhetoric that everyone claims for the first week of January, however that is exactly how you need to begin this year. Stop living your life as a divorcee and start living it as you! You won’