Do it yourself Child Support, even before the Court decides
If you are about to begin, or are in the process of, a divorce and you have kids, take this advice to heart… Start Making Child Support Payments Now! That’s right, start making your child support payments right now. There are a couple good reasons for doing this, but the most important reason is that your kids deserve it!
There are however, two mistakes that you need to avoid when making your pre-divorce child support payments.
Paying nothing at all. You can’t afford it you say? Well, get another job or do whatever you have to do to make a payment each month to your soon to be ex. Besides the fact that your kids deserve it, you will look like a deadbeat if you don’t. Leaving your children with their mother and not paying anything on their behalf is just plain unacceptable. You will get a ton of heat from the judge when you finally make it to court.
If there is some kind of problem giving your ex money, make sure to pay in other ways. Buy groceries, pay their electric, water, gas or whatever utility bills. Pay for their daycare or school tuition or something, just make sure you pay something. You will get your chance in court to tell the judge why you were not giving your ex money. The good thing is that you are providing for your children. If you leave your wife and children, then do nothing to provide for them in your absence, you are doing nothing but establishing the fact that you are an unfit parent and you chances of custody will fly right out the window.
Paying too much. Sounds strange right? Well, it happens. The “paying too much” problem usually spurs from a strong feeling of guilt from leaving. You will no doubt go through periods of guilt, if you are a caring parent, however money does not ease the guilt. Paying your ex ridiculously high amounts of support will do nothing to ease your guilt and might set precedence with the court and you will be stuck paying an unrealistic amount. Just pay a reasonable amount.
Just keep paying! Make your payments as soon as you separate and make them consistently. If you are unsure about what constitutes a reasonable amount, you can do a little research and see if your state’s guidelines for child support list a minimum or a formula for figuring out the amount of support you should pay.
Keep a Log!
Keep a log of every single payment you make to your ex or bill you pay on her behalf. It is vital to your case to keep a clear and concise log of everything you pay for. Make sure you pay everything with a check. Even if you would normally make a payment online, pay with a check so you can establish a solid paper trail and have physical proof of payments if needed.
Make sure you write “child support” in the memo section of each check and be sure to include the month also. For example; “February Child Support” or “Day Care, March”. This way you can show that the check was issued for a specific reason.
If you stick with making your payments on time and keep an accurate and consistent log of each transaction, when you get to court and your wife’s hot-shot attorney starts in on you for financially abandoning your children, the judge will see that you are a concerned and caring father.
You might even experience the rarest of moments ever observed in divorce court… being commended by the judge for making voluntary payments.